The Smell Before Rain

animalstalkinginallcaps:

I DON’T KNOW, CAN YOU COME INTO THE CLUBHOUSE?

WHILE YOU CERTAINLY SEEM CAPABLE OF ENTERING, YOU MAY NOT BECAUSE WE DON’T ALLOW THAT KIND OF GRAMMAR IN HERE.

AS YOU CAN SEE, YOU’RE INTERRUPTING AN IMPORTANT MEETING. PLEASE GO DANGLE YOUR PARTICIPLES AND MUDDLE YOUR PRONOUN REFERENTS ELSEWHERE.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

THAT WAS A GOOD JOKE!

STAPLED TO THE CHICKEN. I’LL HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT ONE. HA HA HA!

I MEAN HO HO HO.

WHATEVER, MAN. I’M LACTOSE INTOLERANT. YOU’RE SIPPING EGGNOG WHILE I’VE JUST BEEN POUNDING THE BOURBON. NEXT TO THE SUGAR COOKIES THERE SHOULD BE A PLATE OF CRICKETS. HOOK ME UP. SANTA’S DRUNK AND HUNGRY AS HELL.

(Source: demiadejuyigbe)